Getting the most out of therapy

Starting therapy is daunting. It can feel intimidating and overwhelming, sometimes even terrifying! Especially if you have never been to therapy (or never tried CBT), you are probably wondering what to expect. Information is power, so I encourage you to learn more about CBT as you consider your options.

You might also be curious how to best take advantage of treatment, so you can enjoy the fastest results possible. Happily, based on my clinical experience, there are several things you can do to get the most out of therapy!

Schedule appointments for times when you can have privacy and feel safe.

Give yourself a few minutes before your session to reflect, prepare questions, and mentally transition from what you were doing before session. If you have homework that you would like to share in session, get it prepared to go (and get ready to see the excited face of a CBT therapist who will be thrilled to review homework!) Therapy is hard work, and sessions can sometimes feel draining, so it can also be helpful to schedule some down time after each session to process and rest.

Start strong.

I typically recommend starting with weekly (or at least every other week) appointments. This will help you to learn about CBT quickly so we can get to work learning and practicing new skills. This schedule also gives us time to get to know each other. You need time to get to know me so you can feel comfortable. I need time to get to know you so I can provide you the best, most individualized treatment I can. Many people start out with weekly sessions, and after they have made significant progress, reduce session frequency until they are ready to terminate treatment.

Stick to a schedule.

I find that when clients schedule sessions very infrequently, or “as needed”, it’s difficult to maintain momentum. Instead of continuing on with our treatment plan, sessions are often used to “catch up” on the latest news, as opposed to learning new skills, or exploring issues more deeply. Attending therapy infrequently also makes it difficult to practice therapy skills outside of session, which can lengthen the time in treatment overall.

Be yourself.

When you come to therapy you can be yourself. You don’t have to dress up, act formally, or change your language. Therapy isn’t a job interview! There is nothing that is too “weird” or “embarrassing” to share in therapy. Therapy is a place where you can be yourself, without fear of judgement, so I invite you to come to sessions as your authentic self.

Do your homework.

I have found over many years of clinical practice, that doing homework is key to your success. Generally, the more you practice your skills, the faster you will improve. Homework can include things like relaxation exercises, sleep hygiene, cognitive restructuring, and many others. I will frequently send you documents which review information learned in session, and guide you in your practice. Homework is always a collaboration, and you will absolutely be involved in designing assignments. Also, remember that if you don’t get a chance to do your homework, that is OK and totally normal. Life happens, and therapy isn’t the only thing on your plate. There are always more opportunities to practice skills.

Remember that there is no way to “fail” homework.

If you feel anxious about practicing homework for fear that you won’t do it “correctly”, let me assure you that there is no way to “fail” your homework. When you practice skills outside of session, and we discuss your experience, it helps me to understand what is working for you, and what we might need to review or change in treatment to best help you. So if homework went well…great! If homework didn’t go so well, or you felt confused…also great! Therapy is not school, and you are not being graded. No matter how your practice goes, we will learn from the experience.

Keep records.

Therapy can be overwhelming. There is a lot to learn, and it is easy to forget important insights gained in session. Jotting down notes during or after session will provide you an important record of your experience. I will also send you lots of handouts and worksheets, so you may want to keep a physical or digital folder to organize all your therapy resources.

Reflect on your therapy experience.

Time in therapy is very short compared to the rest of your week, and if you only think about your therapy goals during sessions, it will take much longer to reach those goals. Even taking just a few minutes here and there throughout the week to reflect on your last session can be very helpful, both in consolidating learning, and encouraging new thoughts, questions, and insights to bring to your next session.

Be open and honest.

Starting therapy can feel very intimidating. It is scary to think about sharing very private and important parts of your life with a stranger! I don’t expect you to feel comfortable right away, but when you do start to feel more comfortable, it is very helpful to be honest about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. If it feels scary to open up, a great place to start is to share that you are feeling fearful, and we can go from there.

Provide feedback.

Therapy is a collaborative process, and we need to work together to identify issues and set goals. If you have questions or concerns, I invite you to bring them up! There are no “dumb” questions in therapy, and you are allowed to disagree with me! It is your life, and you are the expert on yourself. If something we are doing isn’t working for you, I want to know about it so that we can troubleshoot and come up with a solution.